Surrounded by a tribe of witnesses.

“Tell your story. Shout it. Write it. Whisper it if you have to, but tell it. Some won’t understand it, some will outright reject it. But many will thank you for it. And then the most magical thing will happen. one by one, voices will start whispering, ‘me too.’ And your tribe will gather, and you will never feel alone again.”

L. R. Knost

There is something significant when you find someone, or a group of people, who ‘get you!’. You find your ‘people’ and from that point on everything changes. Last weekend I spent time with ‘my people’, with ‘my tribe’, at the National Youth Ministry Weekend.

When you gather a group of youthworkers, there is a lot of joy, laughter and coffee, but also there are times of lament, wrestling through challenges and sharing stories of hard times. Maybe you are in the middle of a hard time, a season of barrenness in ministry, or you are experiencing broken relationships or it is just the fact that you are utterly, utterly exhausted. Whatever your path looks like at the moment, if it’s tough you can feel like the struggle is never ending, the darkness is all-consuming.

It’s like being in a house in the dark, you’re alone, your room is dark, it’s dark outside and it’s dark next door, it’s very dark. But if you were to leave your room, walk down the path from the house then turn and look back at the house, you may well see many of the other rooms with lights on, activity happening, reminding you that you are not alone in the house.

It is when we gather and hear one another’s stories, hope appears, we are reminded that if life is happening somewhere, that life is still happening, and so there is hope.

It doesn’t make our darkness vanish immediately but it reminds us that there is light, that life is still happening, that God is not done yet.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus.” Hebrews 12:1-2

To counteract isolation, to encourage healthy and vibrant accountability, to enable us to stay strong and to bring the blessings of unity and collaboration, these words from Hebrews jumped at me during the conference. Here are some thoughts I wanted to share with you…

1. We are surrounded, and we are surrounded by a great cloud (tribe) of witnesses. Our tribe counteracts the sense of being alone, the tribe brings partnership and allies, the tribe brings accountability, unity and regular breakfast together. The tribe needs to be close by.

2. We walk together, bringing out the best in one another, seeking success and thriving in one another. Relationships built over time that have trust and honesty, being ‘for’ one another no matter what. Walking together helps us ‘throw off everything that hinders’ because we want each of us to be the best we can be, to fully walk in God’s call on our lives. If the relationships are strong and have been invested in then we are able to take wisdom from another, and then share wisdom back, the priority being the removal of hindrances.

3. It does feel like a ‘race’ at times, but we do not run alone, in collaboration and definitely not in competition – the race marked out for us, our unique and individual callings. We are ‘pace-setters’ for one another. Like geese who take turns being the leader on long journeys, we enable everyone to ‘run the race’. Doing this with others allows us all to run further, for longer, with less injury – what our youth ministry needs right now.

4. At the conference Gerard Kelly said “reorientate your faith and work around the person and identity of Jesus!” We ‘fix our eyes’ so that we do not lose sight on why we are here, but also so that we do not lose sight on the how we do it, and who we are pointing people towards. If I throw a party and Jesus turns up, I wouldn’t want everyone to spend time with me, I want them all to meet Jesus. By ‘fixing our eyes on Jesus’ we remove the pressure of comparison, we remove the pressure of achieving a size of group that looks like success, we ensure our ministry isn’t reliant on my own fragile, flawed ego, but on the hope-bringer that is Jesus.

5. We do the above so that “you will not grow weary and lose heart.” The tribe should exist with a definite, intentional purpose – to enable us all to keep going.

From January 1995 I have had the importance of tribe modelled to me. I have been invited into tribes, I have encouraged tribes myself and I am still in ministry only because of others in the tribe who have poured deeply and regularly into my life. I am carrying less injuries because of humble, wise, loving tribe members who were patient with me as I worked out my calling, as I allowed my ego to fall away and as I saw Jesus craft a ministry that we distinctly shaped to use my story and gifts. If you are new to youth ministry, if you have been doing ministry for years, if you volunteer, can I encourage you to do one thing; FIND YOUR TRIBE!

Thirteen Stories. One Journey.

This year I made some new friends! I wasn’t actually out looking for new friends, but I am so glad we met. The friends I am talking about are my fellow ‘Tedx-ers’, the 13 individuals who shared the beautiful, inspiring, challenging journey towards delivering a Tedx talk last month.

British anthropologist Robin Dunbar proposed through his research that ‘humans can comfortably maintain around 150 stable relationships!!!’ In reality most of us spend about two-thirds of our time invested in just 15 people, with about 40% of our time focused on just 5 individuals! Two-thirds of my time devoted to 15 people feels much more manageable that sustaining a relationship with 150 – I’m tired just thinking about that!

The most significant benefit I have received from my ‘new friends’ is hearing their beautiful, unique stories, stories from people I wouldn’t have normally chosen to spend time with.

You may have heard of the phrase the ‘echo chamber’, it is an environment where a person only encounters information or opinions that reflect and reinforce their own. Echo chambers can sometimes distort a person’s perspective so they have difficulty considering opposing viewpoints and also we have a tendency to favour info that reinforces our own existing beliefs.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge fan of ‘the tribe’ – that group of people that have your back, the group that you fight for and who fight for you, they are ‘for you’ and they are willing to journey a similar adventure of life with you. But alongside this group it is incredibly refreshing to hear voices and discover stories that not only enhance your own landscape but also open you up to new possibilities. These voices and stories need to be discovered from outside of your normal spaces, outside of your echo chamber that can simply reinforce a popular, familiar story.

My 7 month journey with my 13 new friends has expanded my world, I now know more than I did before about AI, homelessness, loneliness, vegans, dance, basketball, space, gender, ADHD, cats, donuts, human trafficking, being a woman in business, being a cheerleader, collective effervescence, volunteering, climate change, cheese and the wonder of wonder!

As well as this incredibly revelatory information, it has also given me new ways to see the world, to see people, to see how God loves and knows each one of us. It has reminded me that my own story is just one story, that the stories of others, when shared, bring life, connection and value. Had I not embarked on this journey outside the echo chamber I would have missed out on so much.

“Stories make us more alive, more human, more courageous, more loving.”

― Madeleine L’Engle

Wouldn’t all of us choose to hear more stories knowing through witnessing them we become more loving, more courageous, more human and MORE ALIVE!

The church ‘echo chamber’ is, I think, potentially damaging, not only does it limit our knowledge but we also forget the variety of people and experiences and stories that are out in the world. We only respond in a way that we are familiar with without taking time to hear a new story and explore our own belief in light of this new information and new persons journey.

“Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth.” Mark 5:33

In the bible, in the gospel of Mark, Jesus meets a woman who has a very challenging story. Jesus allows space for this woman to ‘tell her story’, and what happens; she finds peace, she finds healing, she finds connection and she finds restoration.

As well as 13 new friends (I hope we are friends!), I have heard 13 stories that would have been missing from my experience. I am better because of the stories of my new friends.

In a few weeks time these ‘stories’ will be released on the Tedx YouTube channel, look out for them, take time to listen to them. They may not be stories you will have heard before, from people you may not ever have listened to before. But my prayer is that they will be as life-giving as they have been to me.