God is big. I am small.

2 Feb

My hope is to blog at least 5 times during my ‘What next God!’ trip to the US. While here I am attending a leadership conference, visiting some youth charities and also meeting a church of 5000 to chat youthwork.

I’m not sure what the most American thing is that I have done so far this morning; eat a gum ball or have bacon and waffles. Needless to say the latter was far more satisfying.

As I write I am at the top of Stone Mountain, apparently the largest piece of exposed granite on the planet (nice rhyming). The fairly steep walk up has challenged me a little but it has already been an amazing 1st day. Sitting here with 360 degree views of the state of Georgia, I find myself feeling incredibly small as well as incredibly blessed. As a Christian I’m constantly aware of the tension between how vast God is but also how God cares and loves me. I guess millions of people have climbed Stone Mountain, and yet so have I, and I’m here and can say I’ve been here. So no matter the vastness of God, which I am aware we need to always factor in, I still have a place and a purpose, even on the days I feel insignificant and unworthy.

I begin this trip knowing some of the vastness of God but also much of His goodness to me. This ‘goodness’ comes in many forms, not least the amazing and beautiful people God has put in my life, without which I would not be the person I am today, in fact I would not be in the ministry I am in today. So here is my quandary; standing on a mountain that God has been forming and creating for over 400 million years, God knows my name, God knows my need and God knows my shadows and my brightness. I cannot help feeling small, and a little insignificant, but for some reason God chooses not to treat me as small or insignificant. I find this hard to comprehend, mainly because I know me! On the days I feel small I want to see the God who is big, then maybe I can grow to be more like He sees me rather than what I think of myself.

This trip I want to get to know more of the God who spends 400 million years making a mountain and yet loves and cares for me more than that mountain. Why I do not know, but He does!


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